Come Away with Me, my beloved.

After a night of unpacking, filling out paperwork, and getting information about the summer, the other interns and I spent our first night in our summer homes. 

The following day, we arrived early at Ryan's house for a day of silence and solitude. We were given instructions to go anywhere we wanted (within walking distance) and spend the day with God. No Ipods, no talking, no singing. 

It amazes me looking back that for a person who was so excited to spend time alone, quiet, and resting before God, I sure did most of the talking, thinking, and decision making. 

But God is so amazingly faithful, that even in my silent busyness, I encountered him in many ways. I spent the first hour or so thanking him for the beauty around me, for the people in my life, and for his character and patience. I spent the rest of time alternating between journaling, reading my Bible, and reading two articles (Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence and No Greater Love by Mother Theresa). 

I went on a few walks- one of which was particularly noteworthy. My mind was beginning to condemn- beginning to compare myself to the authors of these books, and seeing not an opportunity to love God more, but a mountain I had to work and struggle to climb. So I took a walk. After a while, I found myself in an open field, where I eyed what I thought were just some ugly weeds far from far away, but was drawn to get closer. As I approached these plants, I realized- they were wild daisies. My favorite flower :-) Some people may not be overly impressed by this "coincidence," but this moment almost brought me to tears. The romance of the Lord. He got me flowers :-)

The rest of the day was filled with peace, deeper desire for God, and a pull to return to my first love. I was reminded that we serve because we love God. We live because we love God. We practice spiritual disciplines because we love God. We live before an audience of One, and he is delighted by our glance. 

This morning, I was given the opportunity to serve at Hope Faith for the first time. They are a homeless day shelter that provides meals, clothes, and services for the poor and homeless in Kansas City. I am so excited for the opportunities I will have to get to know the people this summer, and I know that I will be grown in service and I pray that I will grow deeper in love with God through the people at Hope Faith.

Prayer Requests:

- For God to continue to romance my heart and draw me deeper into his presence, that I would be aware of Him at all times.

- That I would live out of love, not out of striving.

- That I would learn to truly value the delight of God over the approval of man.

- That God would increase my desire for service. 

He will never let you down; He will never let you go

For those of you who don't know, these past few weeks have been full of ups and downs...

I completed my sophomore year of college! 

I said good-bye for now to a dear friend and roommate of two years, as she follows God into the next new and exciting phase of her life.

I welcomed home another beloved roommate from her study abroad time in London.

I visited with and eventually said good-bye to my Grandma (Darlene) Eunie. She died to this life Friday morning after a long period spent in Hospice.

Over the weekend, I attended a wedding and my brother's high school graduation, visited a newborn baby, was blessed in conversation with a wonderful mentor and woman, and rejoiced with those around me over the faithfulness and love of God.

Monday night was my grandma's visitation, and this morning was her funeral. I grasped on to the promise of that same faithfulness and love of God through tears, good-byes, and time with family.

Tomorrow morning, I leave for Kansas City. I leave full of hope mixed with anxieties- after a weekend of tears and rejoicing- knowing that God's character is unchanging. That he is present in joy and sorrow. I know the promise that my Beloved, my Father, my Strong Tower and Protector, will never let me down and He will never let me go. I remember those words spoken at my baptism, and other repeated promises.

 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want."

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."

"Lord, you have searched me and you know me... You know my thoughts even when I am far away."

"I know the plans that I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

God is good. Always. He is present. Always. He hears my prayers. Always. He is faithful. Always. He loves. Always. God is good.

So I leave with this verse in mind- one that was read at my grandma's funeral earlier today. A verse that has been one of my favorites for a long time.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. Finally dear brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things."

Philippians 4:4-8

Take My Heart

Tomorrow I will move out of room 236 and officially complete my second year at Central College.
This semester, I have been blessed in many ways. I grew deeper in relationships with the amazing men and women around me. I was blessed to be able to lead Bible studies, and a book study with my dear roommate, Chelsea. I learned more about God's heart for me, and during that process I was invited to jump off some ledges, trusting that God would catch me, and I would end up in a beautiful new place. God is faithful. And I have grown in Him because of those risks.

I'm not by nature a risk taking person. I probably enjoy being comfortable even more than the average person. I don't like to travel; I didn't to leave my house for a week in the summer even to go to camp into high school. I don't like uncertainty, and I would much prefer the assurance of safety than the possibility of adventure.

But I've learned that God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He doesn't call us to make decisions out of fear. He doesn't want me to analyze things all the time. He wants me to love him, and follow his lead. And he promises he will be with me through every step.

This summer is another step outside of my comfort zone. I have always been a bit scared of big cities, and I've never spent any time in a diverse neighborhood. But every time I have stepped out in faith to uncertainty before, God has blessed me with even more of his strength. So I step into this new journey with expectation that God will do huge things. With expectations that God will cause me to fall deeper in love with him. And with an expectation that He will lavish his love on me as I step into uncertainty.

Take My Heart- by Misty Edwards

"For a long time, I have waited for you.
You have won my heart, and I am following.
For a long time, I've been crying out for you.
Tears make my heart soft, I am ready for the return of the Lover.

Fashioned from the very fabric of God.
At the start of time set free to decide.
I will love you.
You're the one who loved me first.
Just one look from your eye
I'm captivated by the eyes of the Lover.

So take my heart, my mind and strength too.
I was made for loving you.
So I will wait, and I'll be faithful.
I was made for loving you."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHvHPxX_-fw