Slime:
Thursday of this week, Kristopher, Jeff, Emily, Aaron, and I went to Hope Faith and were sent with a crew to clean up trash from under a bridge in the city. We were warned not to pick up any areas that looked like there were people living/sleeping there. This bridge is a popular place for the homeless to sleep. When we got to the bridge, there was trash all over the place- old socks, liquor cans, water bottles, and there was even human excrement sporadically around the cement. We grabbed our gloves and started bagging. We filled two trucks full of trash bags by the end of the couple hours we were there.
At one point, I watched Jeff and Aaron lift up a mat that was soaked and dripping with mud, water, urine, and other things and stuff it into a bag. It smelled absolutely terrible on that part of the bridge. Emily and I actually unintentionally gagged because of the smell.
But the experience was extremely impacting. The day before, we read Zechariah 3, which talks about God taking off Joshua's filthy clothes and giving him new, clean robes, and a priestly turban. This bridge- the smell and slime- were a picture to me of how God views sin. But God does not leave us in that spot, he willingly steps into that area to rescue his Beloved people. And he keeps coming back for us. It's not a one time thing. We choose into his cleaning, his sanctification.
After being in that area, I wanted nothing more than to smell pleasant things, and to get as far from there as possible. Similarly, I had a renewed desire to live in God's righteousness- away from the stench of sin, so that I may be a pleasing and fragrant offering to my Heavenly Father.
Running
I've tried running before... It has never gone very well. I had never run more than 2 miles in my entire life, and I was constantly pushing myself to run longer and faster. But usually around 1.5 miles, I hit a wall. I finished feeling, sick, tired, and disappointed with myself.
But when this summer started, I didn't have a choice. Part of the internship is a running challenge. We have to be able to run/walk 5 miles by the end of the summer, and have checkpoint challenges every 2 weeks. My first run out, I remembered something Jean had once said: We are always plugged into a power source, and if that power source is not God's Kingdom of Life, there is only one other power source- the Kingdom of Darkness. So I asked God to keep me "plugged in" to his power. And the first run was successful. I even kind of liked it. I was no longer driven by negative thoughts, I was spurred on by the encouragement of the Holy Spirit.
Yesterday was our 3 mile checkpoint challenge. I ran the whole thing, and for the first time experienced running as a way to worship. It was a constant dialogue with God, a constant humbling. I knew that I did not, in myself, have the strength to run 3 miles. I'd tried. But by the strength, encouragement, and power of the Holy Spirit, I crossed the finished line knowing even more the goodness of God. Praise Jesus! Hallelujah! He Is Good!
Femininity:
I have been learning so much about femininity this summer. Spending most of my days with 8 guys and 2-4 other girls, God seems to be dealing with some of the issues that I can usually avoid. I had hoped that by helping lead the Captivating study, I knew everything I needed to know about femininity. If I could sum up my personal knowledge that I came out of the Captivating study with into four easy reminders they would be: 1) Don't be controlling. 2). Stop mothering the men around you. 3). Remember that you're beautiful and romanced by God. 4). Bring life and be inviting and at rest.
See? Easy cheesy, right? Apparently not. By last weekend, I was wanting to control plan, give my advice and control (mother) the guys around me, I did not feel at all beautiful, and was not very inviting or life-giving. I couldn't force myself to get out of that spot. I was very frustrated. And I couldn't get away from the guys! I even began internally blaming them for my mood. This went on all weekend... (to be continued in the following section.)
The Tree of Life:
On Monday, we had our teaching with Jean and Ryan. Ryan talked about Genesis 3- about the distinction between the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. There was SO MUCH to take from that teaching, but one of the main things that God spoke to me was how important it was to seek after God's Life- not right and wrong. I had been striving to be a "good Christian woman." I wanted to do all the right things. Ironically, I longed to bring life to people, without intentionally seeking after God's life first. That is not going to work!
So God continued to speak to me in prayer time the next day about this theme, and I got a picture of a heart that had flowers growing all over it. As life was springing up in the heart, it was becoming more and more beautiful, and people were draw to it. Ah ha! Beauty and inviting nature does not coming by seeking after inner beauty, or striving to be more inviting- it is a natural by-product of being full of God's life.
My goodness. I am learning so much. Thank you for reading, and for all of your prayers!
Here are some prayer requests:
- More revelation and life from God to be given to me and the other interns.
- For the love of God to fill us more, and that that love would be poured out on those we are serving.
- For strength as we prepare for our 4-mile challenge
- For a strengthening of the community we share.
- For God to seal the work he's doing in each of us, so that when we return to Central, we would be vessels of his life in that community.
Thanks for sharing Sara, i can feel God's love through your words. Thanks for following His plan for you especially when it is outside your comfort zone!
ReplyDeleteMay you continue to grow in your faith this summer while you do His work. You are such a blessing to those you serve and to those of us that get to share by reading your thoughts and lifting you up in prayer
LuAnn